Last night, I did something I thought I’d never do: I took my first swimming lesson. That’s right – I’m 29 years old, and I don’t know how to swim. This has provided for years of awkward pool-going and at the advice of a friend, I finally decided to try to learn. After all, I have three kids, and if any of them ever needed me to jump in and save them from any watery situation, I’d probably be the one that ended up needing to be saved. Plus, it’s just lame to me that I can’t swim.

The class I’m in has only 4 students. One didn’t show up last night. So, it was me, the instructor, and a mid-30s married couple. Now, you should understand that over the years I’ve developed a bit of a phobia. Not a fear of water specifically, but the fear of being completely submerged in water. The longer I put off swimming lessons, the greater this fear became. That being said, last night at dinner I was extremely nervous. I couldn’t even eat all of my food. Once I got to the pool, and the instructor said it was time to begin, my heart was beating fiercely.

We started with simple stuff, like bobbing up and down in the water. I knew, however, that it would only be a matter of time before I was asked to perform the unavoidable “head dunk.” When the time came, I said a silent prayer, took several deep breaths, and took the plunge. It was almost like it was slow-motion. I knew that I was completely under the water because I could feel it on the top of my head. I took a brief mental snapshot of what this felt like, and emerged from the water. As soon as I took a breath, an amazing, earth-shattering, life-altering realization came to the forefront of my mind: “This isn’t so bad.”

The rest of the night found me repeatedly trying to push the limits of my phobia. It was exhilarating, challenging, and extremely satisfying. After nearly three decades, I was not just learning how to swim, but doing so comfortably.

I’ve still got three lessons left. By no means do I expect to be the next Michael Phelps, and I’m sure you won’t catch me lifeguarding any time soon, but I’ve conquered a fear that had such a grip on me that I thought overcoming it was a futile effort.

I’m writing this from the lobby of Assembly Inn in beautiful Montreat, NC. Just had to tell you about what happened last night. About 11pm, I was making rounds to make sure everyone was in bed, and subsequently locked my room key in my room. I called the main office for another, but they told me that I’d have to walk across the Montreat campus to get it.

One of our high school guys accompanied me on the journey. After hiking up and down there and back, I got up to our floor only to realize that the lights in the hall were off. I figured everyone was asleep. Then, the lights came on and our entire group was out in the hallway with tins of balloons, streamers, etc, with gifts and cards for my birthday.

I was extremely surprised! I was a bit bummed that I wouldn’t be able to spend my birthday at home with the family this year, but this was the next best thing. Apparently, my wife was in on it, as there were gifts from here as well.

I’m very blessed to have such an amazing group of people that surround me. Last night was great – and it wasn’t even my birthday yet!

In case you weren’t aware, I have a somewhat odd history with fast food establishments. I had almost forgotten about the aforementioned experiences until last night, when I had the long-awaited third installment of “Yes, I’d like fries with that.” It happened in a small city on the outskirts of Griffin, GA, at a Burger King. Without further adieu, here you go:

Employee (through the drive-thru speaker): “Burger King.”
Me (pausing for just a second): “Hi – I’d like a chicken sandwich value meal, large size with a Sprite to drink.”
Her: “5.75 drive around.”

I drove to the window. Thus far, nothing during this altercation signified to me that I was about to have my mind blown by the sheer “what the heck is going on” aspect of what was about to happen. I waited about 2 minutes before she finally came to the window.

Her: “We ain’t got no buns for da chicken sannwich. You want a whopper bun?”
Me: “Um, uh, (quick decision time) sure.”

She hands me a medium Sprite.

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry – I wanted it large sized.”
Her: “You didn’t say nothing.”
Me: “Um, well, could you make it large size?”

She then gave me this stare that looked like she wanted to yell at me, but she couldn’t – like when you stump your toe and you’re in a place where you can’t yell. So, she hands me the large Sprite, and the situation progresses.

After about 5 minutes (seriously), she comes back to the window, where I’ve put the car in park.

Her: “We ain’t got no chicken sandwiches. You want something else?”
Me: (sigh) “Um, no, I’ll just go somewhere else.”
Her: “OK den – you can keep da drank.”
Me: “Thanks.”

I never gave her any form of payment, by the way.

So I left, frustrated, eagerly searching for another reputable fast-food chain. I thought, “well, at least I can quench my thirst with this behemoth of a fountain drink.” That’s when I noticed that while the drink was free, she neglected to provide me with a straw. So here I am trying to pop the top on this gargantuan while navigating the back roads of central Georgia. I finally get the top off of the cup, and take a much-needed swig. That’s when I realized the reason she let me keep it. It was nothing but seltzer water.

Luckily, I found a Wendy’s about 20 miles down the road, and it was worth the wait. I hope that Burger King eventually gets some chicken sandwiches again. That, my friends, is a travesty.

First off, let me say this: I’m SOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. Those of you who know me will probably know that I like to occasionally grow out my beard, just to see how long my wife will let it get before she changes my name from “Babe” to “Hey, homeless!” I was able to go from Thanksgiving of last year until around mid-January this year before she made me lose it.

This year, however, I’m growing it again, and for good reason. I’m a huge hockey fan, and I’m participating in the NHL’s “Beard-A-Thon,” where I’m growing my beard in order to raise money through sponsors (like you!) with all the proceeds going to benefit the Mario Lemieux Foundation.

The Mario Lemieux Foundation is an organization whose mission is “to fund promising research projects being conducted by the most talented scientists in the field.” What’s that? You want to help out? How can you do it? Glad you asked.

1. You can sponsor me! All you have to do is visit this link to donate: http://bit.ly/b7hrac Remember – every penny goes to the Foundation’s research.
2. Even if you decide not to sponsor me, you can still spread the news about what I’m doing! Use the messages below as your Facebook and Twitter updates!

• FACEBOOK: Support Jon Lloyd as he grows his beard for cancer research! Post this as your status, and click here: http://bit.ly/b7hrac
• TWITTER: Support @notjohnllyod as he grows his beard for cancer research! http://bit.ly/b7hrac Please RT!

So there you have it.You can track my progress at http://bit.ly/b7hrac as well, as I (hopefully) travel up the leaderboards by raising some serious moolah for such a worthwhile cause!

Thanks in advance!

-Jon